stressed

[drayden's mommie]

So Im new here and I am a single mom of a little boy who was found to have a hearing loss at birth before we even left the hospital. I know it is a good thing that the drs caught it and we got his hearing aids right away at around 4 months old. But for some reason i feel completely alone and noone around me seems to understand the frustration im going through. the constant putting the aids in and out trying to keep them outta his mouth. trying to stress to the daycare workers to keep them in as muchas possible. So i was looking on google and here i am. Any tips for me?

[Karen Putz]

Hi! Boy, do I remember those days! Mine were older though, 2 and 4 when they obtained their hearing aids. It was a battle for a while but I tried to make it a positive thing and they eventually learned to keep them in. I used the TV and their favorite videos to help that process along-- if they attempted to take them out then the TV/video was turned off.

Here's a website with lots of suggestions:

http://www.listen-up.org/haid/aids-out.htm

[Lucky Day]

I hope this isn't new advice, but are you involved with early intervention services? In Florida it is called Early Steps. I don't know what it would be called where you live. Early Intervention services provide funding for therapy and devices from birth to age 3. After that it is the responsibility of the public school system to provide appropriate services.

How severe is his hearing loss?

Do you use mineral oil or otoease to make it easier for the earmolds to go in?

Our son was 1 when he started wearing the hearing aids. I was just reading my journal of that time and remembering how it did take about 2 months to get him to wear them for any length of time. And that is unusually fast. My son's loss was moderate at the time. He is now more severe-profound but he still gets enough benefit to ask for them on his own when he wakes up and after a bath.

I have a friend who went through a similar situation with her son. I'll write to her and see if she wants to get on the message board. She is currently in a very good place. Her son now has bi-lateral implants and just turned 3 so he can attend the oral deaf program in town. It is a great situation for them.

It can be so isolating to have a deaf child so it's good you have found this forum.

[Carmen]

Hello!
I am a single mom too and I live alone with my son. He was diagnosed at 20 months and he started wearing hearing aids at 21 months. I know how frustrating it can be, but for me what helped me the most was getting educated about hearing loss and then educating others. Even your own family that cares so much about you, may not fully understand what it really is to have a child that has to wear hearing aids. My son eventually got a cochlear implant and now he has bilateral implants and we got to the point where he is been treated just like any other kids, just like his cousins, we sometimes forget that he cannot hear without his implants. For me it was great to start the correspondence course at the John Tracy Clinic, then going to the summer program becasue I learned so much, and I met so many other families in the same situation, with the same fears and going through the same things as me. It was also VERY helful getting in touch with other families in town. I met several families at a symposium in Early Childhood Education and from there we became friends, because we share such and important thing is our lives, our hearing impaired children. So better than anybody else, those parents will understand you. I also made sure I educated anybody who would look after my son. I don't care how many times I needed to repeat or ask very kindly about the hearing aids/implants, but I had to make sure that they understood and that they did it the right way. I was always very nice with them, buty made sure what was important for my son, like wearing hgis devices properly. Best of luck and I am sure things will get easier!

[Tami Hossler]

Drayden's Mom,
Oh I know..... I think we all feel alone when we first find out. Amazingly once we find the Deaf Community, we realize how much we are "not" alone and how much support there is for our families and our children. Please seek out the Deaf School in your state. Start with their outreach department as they typically have a wealth of information to share with you. You can also check out www.deafchildren. org which is the American Society for Deaf Children which also has many helpful links

I hope you will start taking American Sign Language Classes. You can also go to this site which will link you to others websites that will help you start to learn some basic signs to get started giving your son language.
http://www.babies-and-sign-language.com/browsers-free-sign-language...

So many new parents, including me many years ago, thought speech and hearing equaled language. What Deaf people taught me is that visual language through American Sign Language is a critical component to your child becoming successful as a bilingual person acquiring ASL as a first language and English (reading, writing, and even speech if your child has that potential) as a second language. There are no deaf people who have failed learning ASL but there are plenty of deaf people who have not succeeded learning English through exclusive speech and listening only approaches. There is plenty of research that supports the benefits of ASL on cognitive, social, emotional and academic development. It definitely will keep your child on par with other hearing children in language development.

So while hearing aids and cochlear implants are supplemental aids, they do not make your deaf child a hearing person. Your deaf child will naturally be a visual person. It is important to give him access to language. Even if you do not know sign language, you can start with simple Baby Signs. Take additional classes, learn online, and find yourself a Deaf adult who can come over and help mentor you. Communicate as much as possible. And eventually find your child other deaf friends, peers and role models to interact with. They will become important language models for him.

Parent involvement is key. Flexibility is also key. Follow your child's lead. Seek out Deaf people who live the experience everyday for advice. You won't be disappointed.

My daughter is now 23 years old. She is fluent in ASL and English and a recent college graduate. She is currently employed with a wonderful company and is living a very vibrant independent life.

Enjoy this blessed journey you have been given. There is a whole world out there just waiting for you to find it and share it with your son:)

Tami